View from the Balcony


            Today I’m wondering about the relationship between “productive” and “reflective.”
            I’m not feeling overly productive, as in, I’m not overly motivated to get things done (like this blog entry, to be honest). I think it’s the weather. As I look out the window, I can see raindrops falling in the parking lot and dripping down my office window. It’s very dreary, the kind of day that is perfect for hot cups of tea, blankets, and good books. Rainy day weather is good for that kind of thing. My mom would call it “good soup weather” (though I call it that, too).
            I am not feeling productive, but I am feeling reflective. I’m thinking about a lot of things. I’m thinking about my cat. My cat, Joel, is dealing with some kidney issues and I have to poke him with a needle to give him fluids twice a day. Holding a cat still for five minutes twice a day is not enjoyable for me or for said cat.
            I’m thinking about Lent, because tomorrow (or yesterday if you’re reading this on February 27, but I'm writing this on Tuesday) is Ash Wednesday and we’re now officially in the season of Lent. We’re on the road to Jerusalem, the road to the cross. The road to Easter. I don’t give anything up for Lent, and this year I’m not even taking anything on. But I am thinking about Lent and all the things that need to happen between now and Easter Sunday.
            I’m thinking about my family. My mom called me this morning to tell me a new tidbit about some family history. We have to do some digging into 1908 to figure out what really happened to my great-grandfather’s first wife (he had three). I spent a little time working on my family tree this week, so I’m thinking about all the stories I know and wondering how many stories I don’t know.
            I’m thinking about ministry. I’m thinking about my church and my own personal relationship with Jesus and my own spiritual health. I’m thinking about how I worship when I'm not in worship. I’m making lists of things I’m thinking about and wondering what things I want to work on as an individual and as a pastor (and thinking about when those two things overlap). 
            I’m reflective, which I’m reflecting might actually be more productive than it sounds. Years ago I learned the phrase “balcony time” which is the time you spend stepping back to view something from afar. The church where I grew up has a balcony. I remember sitting up in the balcony with my family in the front pew right above the pew below where my grandparents sat. I remember dropping bulletins down from our pew just to see it flutter down into their laps. And I remember the smirk my grandfather would give me because he knew where the bulletin came from. From the balcony, I could see the whole sanctuary (except, obviously, the seats under the balcony). When that church recently renovated their sanctuary, my dad took me up to the balcony where he said I could get the best view of the new look. From the view I could see the changes. And I could see that someone had left their glasses in a pew rack. Balcony time gives us space to step back and see something from a distance. Sometimes we see things we didn’t see before. Or we see things others didn’t see.
            Creating a margin for reflection can be good. Perhaps that’s what I’m taking on for Lent this year: balcony time. Perhaps that’s what you’re needing, too: this space to step back and look at things from a different perspective. It’s a chance to try and sort through details that are visually confusing up close (imagine looking at a mosaic up close vs. from far away). Sometimes, it’s also good to invite someone else into the balcony with us, to see what they see. Often times, they will see something different from us, and that can be a blessing when our eyes are tired.
            Perhaps another word for "balcony time" is Sabbath. Rest.
            What do you need a margin for in your life these days? Could some balcony time – some stepping back and some distance – help you see the way forward more clearly? With less anxiety? More joy?

            Blessings to you as you journey through the wilderness of this Lenten season!

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