Oh The Things We Own...That someone else sorts when we die

             It has been an overwhelming couple of months. Between a death in the family, work-related stuff, and some other things going on personally…suffice to say, the blog has not been a priority. Now I’m trying to get back into some good writing habits and here we are! Welcome back!

            My family has been going my grandparent’s house following my grandmother’s passing. It’s an overwhelming task. As we go through things I’m stuck over and over again by the stories. Where did this doll come from? What’s the story behind these pins? Where did she get this necklace from? How can there POSSIBLY be another box of pictures?!?! We’re retelling some old family favorites and learning new stories. We learned my grandmother was a sucker for pearls. We also found poetry written by my great-great-grandfather to my great-great-grandmother, which is super sweet. It’s nice to know my love of words comes from both sides of the family!

            The sorting process has me thinking about my own possessions, too. Sorting through my grandmother’s possessions at times leaves me sad. So many things that mattered to her are probably going to a thrift store because they don’t mean anything to my family, or we can’t fit into those clothes, or…any host of other reasons. It makes me look around at my own stuff and wonder not just where it all comes from, but why it even matters. At the end of the day, it’s just future rubbish for a thrift store. 

            In the next moment, my mind shifts and I’m not as sad. I start thinking about how to enjoy what I have now. What happens after I’m dead really doesn’t matter. But how I enjoy something now makes a difference. And, if I’m not actually enjoying it or don’t have a reason to keep it, it gives me all the more permission to thank it for its service (thanks for the vocab, Marie Kondo!) and pass it on to the next person who might love it. 

            The process is also making me want to label ev. Er. Y. thing. Everything. After going through my grandmother’s jewelry box, I sat down and took a picture of each piece of my jewelry. I put the pictures into a word document with captions so there’s a digital record of what jewelry I owned, who gave it to me, and why it mattered. This heart charm bracelet was a gift from my grandmother when I was a little girl. That pin is a gift from a friend. I bought that for myself because I thought it was pretty. It’s a digital record. I don’t actually plan on making a digital record for everything (can you imagine? You haven’t seen my bookcases! I’m a book-hoarder). But maybe it will be helpful to someone who has to sort through my things one day. If they know I just got something from Avon because I thought it was pretty, they know it’s not as special as my high school class ring. 

            Going through possessions is hard. It’s also hard getting back things you made or bought for someone else when the someone else passes (my mom quilted many things for my grandmother that now belong to my mother again). It’s hard to go through memories. And yet in the process, we are creating new memories, too. It’s a good reminder to make space in our life for what we enjoy and let go of the things that really are just clutter. 

            When we’re gone, half of our things will be clutter anyway! So, don’t be ashamed to enjoy what you have while you’re here. Don’t let your belongings become an obsession (materialism has its own temptations). But also don’t be ashamed to enjoy what you have. In fact, enjoying what you have may be helpful in a world overrun by consumerism. 

            But that’s another blog post for another time. 

            In the meantime, if you are someone who is sorting through a loved ones things, peace be with you. It can be daunting and overwhelming, and a great lesson in how the possessions don't actually take the place of our loved one. So be sure to make some good memories as you're doing the work and take a lot of breaks.