Firsts and Seconds


            Every year since I was little, my mom has given me an ornament for Christmas. Not all of them are in great shape 30-some years later, but I do still have them all. The last couple of years, my ornaments have all been about “firsts.” The ornament for 2016 was for being engaged. My ornament for 2017 was – you guessed it – our first Christmas as a married couple. This year’s ornament is for our first Christmas in our house. There have been so many firsts in my life these past couple of years, it’s hard to keep track of them all.
            Sometimes that’s fun. Firsts are exciting, sometimes nerve-racking. Sometimes, firsts hurt. I remember the first Christmas that I spent without my family because I was living in Illinois. I remember the first Christmas without my paternal grandparents. Many of us come to the hurdles of hard “firsts” and sometimes we leap right over them with no problem. Sometimes we fall and scrape our knees with the kinds of scrapes that not even a mother’s kiss can kiss away. The first Christmas without a loved one there is always a hard experience, and if you find a church that does a Blue Christmas service, I highly recommend it. They are beautiful services designed to help worship through grief when “merry” just isn’t what you’re feeling.
            Over the years, I’ve watched all of my family’s traditions change: the huge extended family Thanksgivings that welcomed over 40 people, the giant super bowl parties at Grandmom’s house that ended when their health no longer made it a good idea…even family dinners have changed so much just because we’ve grown up. And the rest of the family has grown up, too. Don’t get me wrong: some of the changes to my family’s traditions are really fun. Like now I have a husband in the mix and his family is my family. So now the “firsts” are all about making seconds.
            Seconds are fun. I’m learning to have a great appreciation for seconds. Doing something once in a thing. It’s a fun thing, but it’s just a thing. Doing something second means you’ve created a tradition. It’s a new normal, which can be a very good thing. This year was the second year I had Thanksgiving with my husband’s family. This year will be the second year that I get to have Christmas dinner with my parents after seven years of always arriving on the plane long after the Christmas dinner plates were cleaned and put away. It will my second Christmas as a wife.
            And we’re still making firsts. It will be the first Christmas in my new church. It will be the first Christmas in our new house and the first Christmas where I worship outside at midnight. It’ll be the first Christmas where my husband and I decorate a Christmas tree together. Next year, when all these things become seconds, they become my traditions. And I really like traditions.
           (Sidebar: The “Stick” is one of my favorite new traditions. It started…I don’t know, ten years ago? My grandparents gave my brother a check and wrapped it around a stick that they wrapped inside of a box. It’s our family tradition now to pass the stick along to a new family member. My grandmother has the stick currently. Who knows who will get the stick in 2018? It’s a fun tradition. I mean, it’s a stick; but it’s fun.)
           What are some of your firsts this year? What are your seconds? Are you more excited about your seconds than you were when your seconds were your firsts? Do you remember when your current traditions, things you’ve been doing “forever” were just firsts? I’d love to hear about them! Comment below if you’re willing to share 😊

            (the new ornament on the left and on the right, my Grandmom Flora waving the stick like a wand and my uncle fearing for his life while displaying the "stick sign in sheet")

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