Communion Confessions

            I have a confession to make. I struggle to take communion¹. I love presiding at the table. Serving communion is very meaningful for me. I take communion to people in nursing homes and hospitals or at home, and they always find communion very meaningful. I brought communion to a home-bound member once who had never had communion at home before, and he got tears in his eyes when he told me I was his first pastor to do that. It meant the world to him. I find tremendous meaning in being able to offer that as a pastoral care service. But when it comes to receiving communion, I struggle. When I’m in a worship service at a conference or a denominational meeting and they announce that it’s a communion service, I catch myself groaning inwardly. That happened again recently, and I decided it’s time to wonder why that is.

            I can remember hearing people mumble things about communion when I was growing up. “Communion Sunday. Service is going to run over.” Have you ever thought that? You don’t have to admit it to me. Just think about the thoughts that go through your head when you remember or read that communion is being offered as a part of worship. I try to keep an eye on my sermon length on communion Sundays (in our church and most other Presbyterian churches, communion is offered every first Sunday of the month). There were times growing up when I remember the pastor announcing that a verse or two was being cut from the last hymn if communion worship was going long; or the last hymn would get cut altogether.

            I also remember the process of communion in worship being an issue for some people. In the church where I grew up, the communion servers would stand at the front of the church and the pastor would hand them the trays of bread or juice. Then the servers would stand there and wait while one server served the pastor first. Then they could all branch out and take communion to the different parts of the sanctuary. Trays were passed up and down the pews. It was only during the contemporary service that we started when I was a teenager that we also started to practice intinction (dipping the bread into the juice). Because I can still hear those complaints in my head (complaints about it being “such a production”) I make sure that I am served last.

            So, thinking about the things I remember about the Lord’s Supper growing up, I start to wonder if that’s why I groan silently when I look down at the conference worship bulletin and see communion listed. It just makes worship go longer. It’s such a production. Add to that the debates about whether communion should be plate-passing or intinction, and whether or not communion should be monthly, weekly, or quarterly, and I start to wonder: why do we even bother?

            I can tell you the theological reasons why. It is, as we say, “an outward sign of an inward grace.” God does amazing things in our lives. Jesus loves us so much that he died for us and to give us hope, he rose. He told us to do communion “in remembrance of him” and so every time we take communion, we remember Jesus’ amazing grace and love. We remember Jesus is with us, and when we go out into the world, we bring that communion with us. We are Jesus’ body and blood in the world. Communion is also communal. It is a practice in community. When I take home communion to someone, we use the same elements that we used in church on Sunday. That’s on purpose: we want to remember that in Christ, we are a bigger community than just what fits around the table in our sanctuary.

            I’ve been reading a book by Pastor Tish Harrison Warren called Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life. In the book, Pastor Warren looks at everyday practices that can draw us closer to God – the “ordinary things of life” like losing keys, fighting with a spouse, and making the bed. She also talks about food and how eating can be an experience of worship. She points out how when Jesus told the disciples to “do this in remembrance” of him, “Jesus chose a meal. He could have asked his followers to do something impressive or mystical – climb a mountain, fast for forty days, or have a trippy sweat lodge ceremony – but instead he picks the most ordinary of acts, eating, through which to be present to his people.”² Is it possible communion could be seen as just an ordinary meal we share with others that just happens to be during worship?

            I’m wondering how celebrating communion can be as meaningful for the receiver as it is for the server (admittedly, especially when the receiver is myself). I think it comes down to the state of heart. Where is my heart when the worship leader at a conference announces it’s time for communion? What’s the state of your heart when the pastor welcomes you to the table?

            I went to another conference recently and they did something a little different. Instead of ending the conference with communion and closing worship, they opened the conference with communion and worship. I noticed that beginning with communion was more meaningful than ending with it. Perhaps there’s some spiritual reasoning why in my church tradition, we start the month with communion.

            I know for me, this is something I want to explore deeper within myself. If I make any progress in my self-reflection, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, I want you to know that if you struggle to receive communion, you’re not alone! Maybe this is an opportunity for you to do some self-reflection, too.

            What do you remember about communion growing up? What thoughts go through your head on communion Sundays? Is self-reflection about communion something you feel called to now? Feel free to interact with me in the comment section! I’d love to hear from you 😊

1: Communion, or Eucharist, or Lord's Supper, is a church sacrament in which the elements of bread and juice are celebrated as representing Christ's body and blood. 

2: Warren, Tish Harrison. Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life. (IVP Books, Illinois,  2016)