Meditation: A Margin for Soul-Work

            I just finished reading Phileena Heuertz’s book, Mindful Silence: The Heart of Christian Contemplation. I’ve never really been one for meditations that don’t involve my hands doing something. Journaling is a form of meditation. Sometimes, quilting is a form of meditation (when the thread keeps tangling or the needle breaks in my machine, that is decidedly not meditative!). Sitting in silence can be difficult if I don’t have something to focus on. Years ago I went on my first silent retreat at a Franciscan convent in Illinois (the Chiara Center…look it up. It’s ah-freaking-mazing!). I sat in the sanctuary and looked at all the things. This was a Catholic sanctuary which meant it was much more ornate than the simple Protestant sanctuary I was used to. Every where I looked there was something to look at and I wondered how I would ever find space to pray when my eyes were constantly filled with images. 

            Then the opposite happened: looking actually helped. Looking at the icons and murals on the walls and ceiling, the sculptures and even the confessional box in the back of the room. All of these things actually helped me focus. I spent three days in basic silence, talking only to the spiritual director for an hour once a day and my then-partner-now-husband at night before I went to sleep. I loved it. 

            But I haven’t had that lately (thanks, Covid). Going somewhere for a silent retreat is a little more difficult, though I’ve gotten some tips on local places to try out once it’s safe to do so. Instead of going somewhere, I read Phileena Heuertz’s book and it brought my heart to a place where I realized how desperatelymy soul needs that silent retreat. Each chapter ends with a description of a spiritual prayer practice. She writes, “In time, by withdrawing a few times a day for contemplative prayer, I realized that solitude was not a disconnection from the rest of the world but instead a necessary recalibration for more meaningful connection with the world.” This echoes the words of a radio sermon that I heard years ago: “Sometimes you have to go apart before you come apart.”

            I have been practicing two contemplative prayer practices: the breath prayer and the examen. I realized that because of my journaling, the examen is the perfect thing for my soul right now. I sit with my eyes closed and my palms up and use a youtube video to guide the meditation. Examen involves holding the events of your day with gratitude. Give thanks for the parts of the day in which you felt most alive and meet with grace the events of the day that were met with tension. Know that God was with you through all the events and then let the events go so you can face tomorrow. I find this to be an incredibly cleansing practice. It clears my head before I go to sleep and I find that so helpful. If I don’t use the youtube video, I use my journal and write the practice out. At the end of this blog entry, you’ll see links from Phileena Heuertz's organization, "Gravity," to better explain the breath prayer and the examen, but I encourage you to find a practice that really connects to your heart. 

            All of our spirits need something. Each of our spirits need rest. Each of us is carrying the weight of something, whether it’s the weights of our own day, the weights of our loved ones, or the collective weight of everything going on in the world. Lord knows that collective weight is painful. Finding those moments of the day for Sabbath – for rest – to focus in on what is making us come alive instead of what is stealing our life – our spirits need that. Even if you set a timer for two minutes and for two minutes you don’t do anything but breathe – that’s enough. 

            I hope you find some rest. I hope you find some Sabbath and some peace and I hope that Christ helps you refill your spiritual well. Remember always that Jesus loves you!


https://gravitycenter.com/practice/breath-prayer/

https://gravitycenter.com/practice/examen/

https://gravitycenter.com/practice/


Do you have a spiritual practice that has really worked for you? What is it? How did you learn it? Share in the comments! 

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