Responding with Grace on Social Media

             I do not repost political things on my social media pages for two reasons: A) Because I don’t have the energy for social media post wars and B) because even if I agree with certain views, I try to keep my posts neutral. If I do post something, it is never my intent to make things political. And my basic response when someone posts something political with which I vehemently disagree is: DO NOT ENGAGE.

  But of course, social media is full of politics. It has been since its inception, and it always ramps up during an election year. Recently, a social media friend posted something political and another social media friend raked her across the coals for it. Or took her to task for it (it really depends on your point of view, right?). They support two different candidates. A duplex house near the church where I serve has two porches: one porch with a flag supporting one candidate, the other porch with a flag of Martin Luther King Jr.’s face and remarks about love and justice. It seems like everything is such an either/or dichotomy right now. You’re either this, or you’re that. You’re pro-country or anti-country. Being both seems to be off the table.

            Why is that?

            Maybe I’m just noticing it more this year. Maybe 2020 has made us all a little more sensitive to these kinds of things. But maybe it’s also always been this way. Was there a time when it was about actually making people’s lives better or has it really come down to you’re either/or? 

            Seeing people get angry at people on social media honestly makes my stomach turn. It’s the same feeling I used to get watching Full House when one of the kids would get into trouble. My stomach would turn and I would want to change the channel because I feel their anxiety or embarrassment. I did not change the channel, but I did sometimes shut my eyes. Sometimes I think we as a species have moved beyond the ability to have reasonable conversations about issues. It is immediately personal, immediately either/or. You’re either against us or for us. Why can’t we talk about things anymore? 

            So I want to offer a suggestion. I do not care which side of the political aisle you hitch your wagon to. I do not care how you plan to vote in November, though I do hope you vote (seriously, go vote!). Here’s my suggestion: have a conversation. What if, when someone posts something on social media with which you disagree with you either a) choose to ignore it or b) ask them what they mean by it. Have a conversation! Go out for a socially distant coffee and even if you come to the end and agree to disagree, part friends. 

            “But Pastor, what if someone posts something that is just degrading to people, or racist, or makes me feel like garbage?” 

            Ask: “What did you mean by that?” Ask: “Can you explain that post?” Ask in a private message if you have to, but ask. How important is the relationship to you? Also, remember that not everything is meant as a personal attack against you. That’s why you ask. “I saw what you said and it sounded kind of racist to me." Or, "I think I read this one way and want to know how you interpreted this. Can you explain how you saw it to me?” Can we agree to have those conversations? As much as we would sometimes like to be, we are not mind readers. 

            Sometimes, it’s okay to actually walk away. There’s Biblical precedent for agreeing to disagree and part ways (check out the story of Paul and Barnabus in Acts 15:36-41). But if you can agree to disagree and part friends, so much the better. Ephesians 4:26 reminds us, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Anger can be good. Anger can get things done. Anger definitely plays a role in social justice work. So let me say that for the most part, I’m not talking about how we respond to social justice issues. I’m talking about how we respond to blatantly political posts. Sometimes, anger is just a parasite that feeds on our anxiety and our bad feelings towards friends. Don’t let that kind of anger win. 

            Mostly, during this election season, I hope you remember to be kind. And speak with grace. Conversations are a kindness we show each other. Conversations are simple graces we extend to our human siblings in an attempt to strengthen our relationships. Colossians 4:6 reads, “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” 

            And if you’re still angry about something someone posted? The soul-work you have to do is decide what responding with grace looks like. 

            Check your own hearts this election season, and be selective about how you post and respond to posts on social media (I’m seriously considering boycotting social media until Christmas). Hear these words from Proverbs 4:23-27 (from The Voice translation): 


"Above all else, watch over your heart; diligently guard it

    because from a sincere and pure heart come the good and noble things of life.
24 
Do away with any talk that twists and distorts the truth;
    have nothing to do with any verbal trickery.
25 
Keep your head up, your eyes straight ahead,
    and your focus fixed on what is in front of you.
26 
Take care you don’t stray from the straight path, the way of truth,
    and you will safely reach the end of your road.
27 
Do not veer off course to the right or the left;

    step away from evil, and leave it behind."


Remember: people are always more important than ideas (how often did Jesus remind us that He never sees people as interruptions?). Please. Please choose to be kind. Season your speech with grace and encourage others to do the same. 



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